I Am Here To Thrive

/in /by

Do you ever feel like you are going through your life merely surviving rather than truly thriving, growing, blossoming? I spent years on and off feeling like this.   Even now it still creeps up but my conscious level is very clear and I know how to feel it and Let that Shit Go!

It was on my recent two week trip to the Cayman Islands that it all became completely clear to me (yes there was yet another catalyst, but a story for another time). Let me just say… I was sick and tired of stuffing shit down.  The last 16 plus years of decisions, choices, and at times life that I just had no control over (or I thought I had no control over) was killing me inside… because I was stuffing the pain down thinking I was doing myself a favor and I could handle it I was the strong one – I had the background training to deal – LAUGH OUT LOUD and WHAT THE FUCK was I thinking!  Believe me when I say after a while and years of stuffing things down there was NO more room and it was time!

Those times when life just feels really demanding, like I am spending a lot of time trying to help  and yet often still end up simply feeling anxious and tired and sometimes overwhelmed with my life.

One huge lesson  I had learned in my 20’s was not to compare my life with the lives of others and I never wished to be in anyone else’s predicament.  The grass is NOT greener on the other side of the fence. Often while ‘everyone’ else looks like they have it all together… at least from the outside – REMINDER probably not.  We all have our own lessons to learn in this lifetime. It never helps when I compare my insides with other people’s outsides!

Over time, although it felt really counter intuitive, I became aware that to start to really thrive in my life I needed to slow down and look at me. I needed to take responsibility for my choices and actions in life, rather than feeling like a victim to my life. I needed to learn how to say no to those things and people that didn’t align to what brings joy, meaning and purpose to my life. I needed to find some self-compassion and practice self-care!

I learned to deeply appreciate the simple things in life,  my passion for tropical travel, my morning coffee, a good book, time with my daughter and my long overdue path to #gettingbacktome. I learned to feel gratitude #SoDamnGrateful.  To focus on the beauty Mother Nature lets rise and set each day. And to practice acceptance and learn from the challenges that will always come with me being alive in the Universe as it stands.

Much of the time now I do feel like I am thriving and as Maya Angelou’s  quote goes ‘My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style’… sounds like a wonderful recipe to me!

A reminder that life can be simple – it’s our choices that make it difficult at times.  Begin Soul Stepping for your-self!

Let That Shit Go

/in /by

Many of us are going through our lives very aware of a safe and secretly stashed bundle of pain underlying our daily awareness that we’ve felt for so long we aren’t even sure where it comes from. It almost seems as if it’s part of who we are, or the way we see the world, but it’s important to realize that this pain is something that needs to be acknowledged and processed. The longer we sit on it, the harder it is to work through, and the more likely it is that we will be forced to acknowledge it as it makes itself known to us in ways we can’t predict (but then again we know the ways). Rather than waiting for this to happen, we can empower our-self by digging deep and and dealing with the pain and make a commitment to our-self to take the Soul Steps toward healing it.

The very thought of this brings up feelings of resistance in most of us, especially if, on the surface, our lives seem to be in order  (at least some of us tell our-self that). It’s difficult to dig up the past and go into it unless we are being seriously inconvenienced by the hurt. The thing is, when we are carrying the heavy baggage of our stuffed down pain, sooner or later, it will inconvenience everyone of us! If we can be brave and proactive, we can save ourselves a lot of future suffering and free up the energy that is tied up in stuffing  the pain down and telling your-self – I am strong; I can deal with it.

Let me remind you… stuffing the pain down is NOT being strong and dealing with it!

There are many ways to do this, but the first step is to recognize the pain and honor it by moving our awareness into it. In this process, even if it’s just five minutes during meditation, we will begin to have a sense of what the pain is made of. It might be fear of abandonment, childhood abuse, anger at being mistreated, or some other long held wound. As we sit with the pain, we will also have a sense of whether we can deal with it by our-self or not. It may be time to work with a counselor, or form a healing circle with close friends. Whatever path you choose, resolve to go deep into the pain, so that you can release it fully, and set your-self free.

Remember, it is never too late in life to heal what hurts, and there is never a better time than now.

Your life is a daily Soul Stepping journey.

Do Not Fear Failure

/in /by

Do NOT fear failure.  What you should FEAR is being in the exact same place next year as you are today!

You know what scares me the MOST?  Not moving forward. Not making the most of my time.  Not living my life fully.

Of course moving forward means stepping outside of your comfort zone, trying new things, exploring new places, letting go of old habits and ideas.  You might not always be comfortable where you are, you might get scared, and you might not be good at something new – but do NOT be afraid! How will you know unless you try.

There is absolutely no harm in trying something and not being any good.  It’s ok, you are a beginner. Practice makes perfect and no one was born an expert on anything. It’s ok to fail at some things, because it offers you an opportunity to learn.  You will either learn to do it differently or you will learn that it is not for you. But you tried and now you are one new experience richer.

When I started out online, I was terrified.  I didn’t show it, but I was. I had no idea what I was doing, and I had no idea if it was going to work out for me.  One thing I did know was that I did NOT want to stay where I was.

So I tried, I learned…. I failed here and there and then I tried again and learned that each and every day I will continue to learn and possible fail.  As I write this… I am propped up in my bed and I know even if I fail I will have succeeded because I am giving it 100%.

Four years ago this idea was born and I have procrastinated my way through it and year by year and week by week it all fell into place – it was TIME.

It’s truly safe to say, that I am really glad I took the chance on myself and my idea and I did NOT let the fear of failure hold me back!

Start your Soul Stepping journey – fear NOT failure!

If you are ready to take a chance on YOU and work for your future freedom and happiness take that step that Soul Stepping step.  You have got nothing to fear…. but fear itself.

Failure – Another ‘F’ Word

/in /by

The word failure puts forward a very simple way of thinking that allows for only two possibilities: failure or success. Let me tell you this for sure – few things in the universe are black and white, yet much of our verbiage reads as if it is. The word failure signifies a paradigm in which all subtlety is lost. When we regard something we have done, or our-self, as a failure, we lose our ability to see the truth, which is no doubt much more complex. In addition, we hurt our-self. All you have to do is speak or read the word failure and see how it makes you feel.

At some point, the word may not have been so back loaded with the weight of the negative world on our shoulders, and it simply referred to something that did not go according to plan. Unfortunately, in our culture it is often used very negatively, such as when a person is labeled a failure, even though it is impossible for something as vast and subtle as a human being to be reduced in such a way. It also acts as a deterrent, scaring us from taking risks for fear of failure. It has somehow come to represent the worst possible outcome. Failure is a word so burdened with fearful and unconscious energy that we can all benefit from consciously examining our use of it, because the verbiage we use influences the way we think and feel.

Next time you feel like a failure or fear failure, know that you are under the influence of an outdated way of thinking about the world. When the word failure comes up, it’s a call for us to think about a more enlightened consciousness to the matter at hand. When you are consciously aware of the word and its baggage you will not fall victim to its darkness. In your own thoughts, you may choose to stop using the word failure. This might encourage you to dig deeper and think more clearly the truth of the situation, opening your mind to subtleties and possibilities the word failure would never have allowed.

Be Soul Confident

Your Guide to Dry Brushing

/1 Comment/in , , /by

You brush your hair and teeth daily, but have you ever brushed your skin?

You have probably heard of dry brushing, and maybe you’ve wondered if it’s worth the hype. Let’s talk about exactly what dry brushing is, the benefits you can expect from a regular dry brushing routine, and how to get started.

A dry brush is a long wooden brush with soft but firm bristles for the skin. The idea behind it is to stimulate the body’s lymphatic system, an important part of the immune system that collects and transports waste throughout the bloodstream. The lymphatic system contains lymph vessels that run below the skin – it’s a natural detoxifier.

By brushing the skin in a particular pattern, you can stimulate the lymphatic system to promote this natural flow and support the body’s immune system. Dry brushing also exfoliates the skin by sweeping away dead skin cells, which can improve the appearance of skin and help to smooth the appearance of cellulite. You’ll love how soft your skin feels after a regular dry brushing routine!

I always recommend dry brushing during the morning hours due to its energizing effect. (My preference is to brush before hopping in the shower.) It’s the perfect natural energy boost to kick start my day!

Wondering how to dry brush? Start at the feet or legs and begin brushing upward or in circular motions towards the heart. Use small, firm strokes, but don’t apply too much pressure. The idea is never to break the skin or cause irritation. Be gentle and experiment with the pressure that your body responds to best.

Feel free to dry brush up to five minutes each morning, and tell me how it goes! I would love to hear your thoughts about adding a dry brush to your health and wellness practice.

The Truth About Self-Care

/in , /by

“The act of self-care has become yet another thing women are expected to be good at. Did you use the right filter for that ‘gram of your impeccably-prepared acai bowl? Are the candles you just lit in your Snap story made from organic hand-poured soy or are they that mass-produced factory shit? And how can we stem the inevitable capitalist tide from turning something as simple as self-care into yet another thing to be bought and sold? These are all things I wrestle with as I order Dominos in sweatpants under the guise of ‘being good to myself.'”– Amil Niazi

 

Self-care is often not all gorgeous sunrises and sunsets – in fact, it can leave a very bad taste in your mouth!

It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling distractions your solution.

It is often doing the hardest thing you have to do, like sweat through yet another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time. It is needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from living to do basic things like drop some essential oil into a bath and catch up on Soul Stepping in my Flip Flops and turn off your phone for the day.

A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that has become very unhealthy. Self-care should not be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own relentless internal battles, the pressures and self-created drama of our everyday life.

True self-care is not only epsom salt baths and coffee ice cream (yes, that is my favorite) – it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from. And that often takes doing the things you least want to do.

It often means looking your failures and disappointments square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is not satiating your immediate desires. It is letting go. It is choosing new. It is disappointing some people. It is making sacrifices for others, but not at the expense of yourself. It is living a way that other people won’t, so maybe you can live in a way that other people can’t.

It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. Unexceptional. It is sometimes having a dirty kitchen and deciding your ultimate goal in life isn’t going to be having abs and keeping up with your fake friends. It is deciding how much of your anxiety comes from not actualizing your existing (but not yet developed or hidden) potential and how much comes from the way you were being trained to think before you even knew what was happening.

If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness.

It is no longer using your hectic and drama-filled unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of booze and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly helps you attend to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.

It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about yourself and others in a healthy way. It is being honest, even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people.

It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that epsom salt baths and coffee ice cream are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it.

Take care of yourself – it’s the most important thing you can do.

What’s ‘Grounding’ and Why Does It Matter?

/in /by

When is the last time you walked barefoot on the earth, with your toes touching the soil or sand?

There’s a notion called grounding or earthing in the wellness community that I believe in wholeheartedly. Grounding is simply walking barefoot and feeling a deeper connection to the earth, with the goal of tapping into the earth’s negatively charged ions. To reap the full benefits of this connection, many recommend walking barefoot near or in bodies of water, wet grass, or wet sand.

The result? As its name suggests, this simple practice grounds you through the soles of your feet. Without the constriction of footwear, we can connect directly to the earth and allow those electrons to charge into our bodies.

Research on grounding suggests that these charges hold powerful antioxidants that replenish the body, promote health and wellness, and free ourselves of the build up of radiation and unhealthy charges that we are exposed to on a daily basis. Other physiological benefits of grounding include improved sleep, increased serotonin levels (a chemical that boosts mood and energy), reduced inflammation, and strengthening of the body’s immune system through oxygen flow to the cells and tissues in the bloodstream.

Grounding may not always be feasible or attractive – especially if you live through the cold winters of New England like I do! But the next time the weather allows, or perhaps on a getaway to replenish the body and soul, I encourage you to let your feet breathe. Take the time to enjoy the sensation of cool grass or sand beneath your soles, and tap into the power of the earth. A little Soul Stepping, if you will.